two college graduates and popcorn popping on an apricot tree

Nicholas and I graduated! last night we went on a long walk all around campus talking about our favorite memories about the places we passed by...the y was lit on the mountain and even though it was kind of chilly and windy i really enjoyed it.

today my world fell apart as marae moved out- i am slightly depressed but had tortellini for lunch and so i might be able to go one...who knew i loved it so much? i have so much grading to finish, but at least now i can do it in a nice, clean apartment since we had cleaning checks this morning...we are going to tell kelli we have them every month now :)

joining the one percent of the world's population that holds a college degree

i guess just because it seems natural for me since the people i associate with are largely in the same circumstance i am i shouldn't devalue college graduation- it is a big deal ") these are the flowers i got from my parents in the mail...i was rather glad that my family didn't come so that i did not have to walk and participate in the chaos. i also got a huge cookie from my sister that i am slowly devouring with each trip through the kitchen.
i spent hours today cleaning my apartment and i really love when it looks, and more importantly feels, this clean. i am finally dressed and ready for the day and i am going to go over to nick's when he is done with his college convocation to take a picture with him in his cap and gown and all. i have been invited to a graduation barbeque later tonight, and specifically not invited to another, and have yet to do anything really special with my roommates so who knows what the evening holds....who knows what life holds? nobody...and that is the great part. i think i am the only one who is not concerned about it. everybody else seems to try and comfort me with a "things will work out" or a "something will come" but they don't seem to realize that i am not the one that needs words of consolation- i am completely fine with not knowing for now :)

lost: blogging enthusiasm

i really just don't have much to blog about i guess and the novelty of blogging is wearing off. as per my dad's advice, here i am blogging about how i am not blogging!
i only have one more final left...i am just a waltz, tango, and foxtrot away from being a college graduate! i have a lot of grading to do still, but the end is in sight.
yesterday i made crepes- i can't make them a perfect circle yet but i think i am slowly getting better. we filled them with nutella, strawberries, blackberries, and whipped cream...boy were they good!
i am missing marae...life is just not as happy and randon without her! i am also not a fan of this trick-weather...i want it to be warm all the time instead of just sunny and then windy and cool.
tomorrow is earth day and i am planning on hopefully spending most of the day outside...things are starting to bloom here and it is really beautiful. i would like to maybe go hiking or exploring...

no time to blog...too busy enjoying tulips

sometimes there is just no time to blog...i would like to say that it is because i have been so diligent in studying for my finals, however the truth is that there is just so much fun going on that i want to be a part of...plus nicholas is back in the scene and thus many of my free moments are with him instead of checking facebook or blogging. well, and marae has been gone...and blogging just isn't the same without her!
yesterday nicholas and i went to the tulip festival at thanksgiving point...they were gorgeous and it was fun to just walk around for a bit. it was super windy and my hair hated me, but i had a really great time. there were some cool man-made waterfalls and some children singing and dancing...or trying to...by this big hill, opposite of the tulips. on friday i went to the byu baseball game against tcu- we lost pretty badly but it was fun to go and wrap up in a blanket and hear the sounds of spring. thursday's episode of the office was halarious and i am so anxious for this week's episode...especially since i will be watching it as an offical college graduate!
oh i am so excited for next week when i have nothing to do but grade and clean out every single thing i own (that is here at my apartment). i am excited for naps on the grass and really long walks to get something that could have been obtained by car in just a few minutes. i ame xciged to have time to perhaps actually do some of my great ideas...mainly as far as crafts are concerned.
so we got our cleaning check sheets the other day and i had mixed feelings on the whole thing. i mean i love to clean, don't get me wrong, and my sheet doesn't really include any hard jobs which is fitting since i do them most of the time anyway. but what really got me was that kelli was assigned the fridge and i had just spent hours cleaning it...it was actually disgusting and i am a bit sad that others don't get to see how bad it was now. oh well...some day i guess.
i have been eating a ton lately and really don't want a big dinner today...i am nervous about what grandma and grandpa have in mind- some times it is a tuna sandwich and other times it is red lobster. no matter what it is i never "eat enough" and i am "too skinny" and thus i have to stuff myself until i am miserable for the rest of the evening. oh, speaking of which i got ice cream the other night from the creamery...it was the first time in quite awhile and it was very delicious. i am excited to be one of those old alumni that goes to games and concerts and the creamery and remembers about when they were a student...ahhh :)

short hair and flowers

today nicholas brought me flowers with the sweetest note..."i know i have lots of competition- i'm trying"

he's pretty much winning ")

oh, and here is the debut shot of my new haircut. so granted that i just had gotten out of the bath and hadn't really done it all that well, it pretty much looks about like this every day. sometimes i do it all flipped out or all under, but this is a fave thus far. you should see my ponytail- it is real cute...jk.

japanese cherry blossoms and plastic forks

i could ramble about my day, but i suppose you are wondering what today's title means...here goes.
i never had a favorite scent as far as bath and body works type products...i mean i loved lovespell from victoria's secret back in the day, but other than that the tropical or sweet pea scents were just fine but nothing amazing. well for christmas i got from the francoms some bubble bath that was japanese cherry blossom- i am officially smitten. it is the most glorious smell in the whole world! i have slowly been transitioning to japanese cherry blossom products...first the bubble bath on occassion and then handsoap in the bathroom then body wash and hand sanitizer and i just got a refil for my wallflower...now our whole apartment smells heavenly! thank you francoms!
now, plastic forks. i went to cafe rio yesterday as i am not really that wild but wanted to do at least something to celebrate my last day of college classes...ever. (we'll get to that, don't worry) anywho, i always get a salad because they are so good and huge, even though i always want to try the shrimp tacos which are only available on certain days. so i order a salad and am so happy about it that i am smiling the whole way through the assembly line. i am so smiley that when i am paying the guy gives me a coupon thing for a free dessert next time...sometimes i don't mind being me :) so i get my salad and drive home and get in front of law and order and then am ready to dig in when i realize i did not get any utensils...a fault of my own, not the restaurant. i was a bit disappointed as i always claim that it tastes better with a plastic fork, but figure it isn't a big deal and eat it with one of our metal forks. okay, so i might have been making it up before just because i liked eating with disposable utensils because even though you weren't at cafe rio it still felt more like you were, but seriously now i know that a cafe rio salad really does taste better with a black plastic fork.
yes, yesterday was my last day of college classes- perhaps forever or at least until i decide when and where to go back. i am a bit sad that it is over...but i am not planning on leaving provo right away and thus i think i may be able to wean myself off this college experience that i have recently been so thoroughly enjoying. i figure, byu can't really make me not attend one of the huge lectures- they won't know i am in there and so i might just sneak in from time to time. and i will get to be one of the old alumni that comes to homecoming spectacular or concerts and remembers how it was when i was a student...ahhh. it will be great.
oh, so funny story. my friend called me yesterday to help her set up a quilt she is working on. i find it funny that she calls me since she graduated with a degree in essentially home ec, however i enjoy that stuff and was glad to go. i hadn't done it before myself, but i can figure things out :) anywho, so we are trying to make room for the tiny quilting frames in her tiny married student housing apartment and she starts to put away the ironing board and iron. then she says to me..."oh someday you can have an ironing board". perhaps you had to be there, but it was funny. i was just like, yea someday i guess- i mean i have one now but i know what she meant- someday i will be great and married and have my own domestic items that no one else will use that i will be able to keep just how i want. yea, i guess it sounds great- but i really enjoy living with my roommates right now!
i stayed up way too late last night, however amazingly i am not really all that tired. i only got about a little over three hours of sleep before i needed to wake up and take marae to the airport, but i am feeling great. i am going to go give a final to a couple students early and then i am going to come home and probably go to the gym and clean up a bit and perhaps even study. i am counting down until five pm which is when nicholas gets off work...i am excited to see him today :)

sundays are blog-free

i usually try to turn my computer off on sundays just so i get a break from being so accesible every once and awhile. i contemplated blogging just to keep my record, but i ultimately decided to just have a break.
saturday was fun- i went to the ballroom dance concert again and it was a little better this time i thought. i laughed so hard because they did a number to "Turn the Beat Around" by Gloria Estefan...my oldest sister did a funny number to that same song a long time ago- in glow in the dark spandex. every time i hear it i just think of her rocking out...ah the glory days.
sunday was great- my family was doing a fast for my dad and we all wore our bee charms. i went to my grandma's for dinner, as usual, and my cousin and his new baby were there. i got to hold little ten-pound paizley...it was great, but definitely not anything that i want right now or even soon- woohoo! there is at least one thing i know i want/don't want. :) after ward prayer i went to have some strawberry pie and took a long walk and went to the park because it was so nice. oh and i also met this kid named nick from houston that lives next door that has a trampoline that they set up on the weekends- marae and i went and jumped...why is it so fun to jump up and down?
today was so lovely that marae and i walked to sonic, which isn't exactly super close, to get a dr. pepper. i had my very last dance classes in college today...i like to dance, and hopefully there will be opportunities to do it for fun later in life. we are going to the park for a barbeque tonight and i am really ready and excited...being outside is great these days.
i am very sad for marae to perhaps be leaving...i am trying to get her to stay and play with me for a little longer here in provo- if you have any ideas of how to convince her, please share! oh we may go see "The Bucket List" tonight...it is at the dollar :)
i can't believe college is really coming to an end...life has been planned out up until this point and i am not quite sure that it has really hit me that there really isn't anything else i have to do after this. i have decided to just take some time to evaluate what i like in my life and what i don't and try to see what it is that really makes me happy...i love witty commercials and i don't care for u2- that is a start, right?

saturdays...

i always think i am going to get more done on saturdays.
i slept in and then i ran shopping for a bit. some days the shopping gods just smile on you, ya know? everything just seemed to work today and i could have done quite a bit of damage- luckily i have at least a little self-control.
when i came home i decided to go on a little run before attending one of many bridal showers of the season. it was wonderful. it was almost sixty degrees and i just ran until i was tired or wanted to look at something or couldn't breathe. then i would start running again when i felt like it. i discovered some landmarks in provo that i can not believe that i did not know existed since i have lived here four years. i ran up by seven peaks and decided that i might go hike the y during graduation since that is most likely going to be my best chance to have some quiet time up there. i ran by quite a party at king henry...and i had no idea that belmont was that close to the mountain.
the bridal shower was fine- chicken salad on croissants, some sort of chocolate, games no one really cares about, and too many pictures of the couple that no one really wants to see. who really wants to see anyone kissing...i mean really? i left before the gifts were opened to shower before my date tonight however when i got home toni was watching Never Been Kissed on tv and i got sucked in for a little while.
i finally showered and got ready and then was about ready to leave on my date when i got a call from a girl i barely know wanting to know if i had any sort of jacket/bolero/cover-up type thing to go with a formal...i somewhat love and hate that when people need these types of things they call me. i pulled a few out and then my date came...we went to the ballroom dance concert- again. it was good...i was glad to see it again and this guy was a completely different experience than last night :)
i am still very sleepy and am trying to pull myself away from My Big Fat Greek Wedding that is always on tv to go to bed. like one more week and then i will be able to do whatever i want, whenever i feel like it...woohoo!

a new woman!

so today i finally did it and took the plunge...i cut my hair. i have been wanting to cut it short since last year at this time and just never did it for one reason or another. it is so short! it is above my shoulders (pictures coming soon) and i already love it. it kind of feels like i am more mature...like i am more confident...like i know where i am going in life. i sort of feel like i have cut off a part of my life and now i am starting a whole new phase...which is appropriate since i am graduating college in less than two weeks. i am excited to play with my hair and figure out many ways to do it.
i also went to the ballroom dance concert tonight...and i was left wanting. it was fine, but it really was just lacking something- i didn't feel it at all.
also, i broke my tiny black headband again...it was a replacement from the first one that i loved and accidentally broke...third times the charm?
our apartment is really quite filthy and i am discouraged...i literally spent hours cleaning last weekend and it is already disgusting again- argh!
i bought some crafts today to do after finals and graduation are all over...i am so excited to have time to do whatever i want and figure out what it is that i am really passionate about- what makes me tick.
i am exhausted again tonight and am looking forward to sleeping in without an alarm...i might sleep on the couch as i haven't had time lately to take naps there and i have been missing it!
man! i had so much to blog about and then i always forget it! nuts.

day four is looking weak!

so i am too extremely tired to write anything, however i have been three days strong and have to keep it up.
i had a busy day and ended it with a great two hour conversation with an amazing person...however now i am really exhausted and am planning a long day tomorrow, complete with early morning, and thus i am going to just go to bed now and post more de la manana :)
(just in case you were hanging on the edge of your seat though, today was just wonderful)

three days of bliss

it is great having a blog...and it is gives me something to talk about to anyone. today was fabulous- marae drove me to my dance class as it was cold and i did not really want to speed walk at the moment. i did a little vienese waltz, american style, and then discussed one of my favorite theorists for an hour. i came home for lunch and made one of my infamous bean and corn mixes which i ate on tortilla chips. i went back up to campus to buy an envelope to mail my sister a cd and while i was in the bookstore i bought the new motab cd- i wanted it ever since i saw the commercial for it during conference last weekend...i am quite excited about it as it has many great songs on it and only a few odd ones you have never heard of instead of having the porportions the other way around. i took my foxtrot test and then came home and chatted with the roommies until glen came over.
we all ate a whole lot of chocolate today...it was great. then i went to the synthesis concert- it is like a jazz band and they are always so great. i went with perhaps my best friend of all time, nicholas, and we went to panda express afterwards. the whole evening was just perfect and i couldn't stop smiling all day- i love days like this :)
oh, and one thing that i keep figuring out is that i have a southern accent sometimes- this is not normal as i am not natively from the south and have been living in provo for the last eight months in a row. it just appeared slightly and is getting stronger all the time- it is quite weird and i am not sure what to do about it...i mean the accent isn't that bad in and of itself, it is just odd for me to have it and especially right now.
oh and when i came out of the concert i saw the moon- it has been hiding lately which really makes me sad. it was the smallest little sliver of moon but you could see the whole sphere somewhat illuminated by the tiny slice that was really showing; it was quite beautiful. however i am always in love with the moon, so no biggie i guess. there were scattered clouds though too and the stars out so bright in parts of the sky...i don't know how people can not be completely facisnated by nature and also how they can deny the existence of a perfect and compassionate divine being. incomprehensible.
tomorrow is going to be a long one...but the office is back and i am so excited. my expectations are high- so stayed tuned for my thoughts on the first episode since the writer's strike.
oh, also, i thought i would end with my fortune cookie for yall to ponder...kind of an interesting one at this time in my life..."sail into the land of opportunity - treasures await"

blogging...day two

well it is day two and i am going strong. i have been thinking about things all day that i could write on here...and now i am forgetting all of them- yikes!
i wasted completely too much time today, but i enjoyed life today and so i think that it was worth it...i am kind of in to being happy these days- why not? i mean there is a lot i could worry and complain about, however i am young and smart and cute and fully capable...so what do i really have to fear?
today i spent some considerable time at the gym and running...it was really great and i have decided that i have great calfs. many a person has told me that before, but today while i was doing calf-raises i decided that i really do like my calves...thanks mom. i borrowed kelli's ipod and had a great time browsing through her music. i actually somewhat danced on the walk home from the gym to a mambo.
when i returned, all three of my roommates were home...i was so excited. i talked two of them into walking with me to the gelato shop, however then we decided that we really wanted frozen yogurt from the maverik gas station. i really wanted banana flavor and so we called all of the maveriks in provo and orem, but none of them had banana today. the lady at the one by the provo mall was really rude- when i asked what flavors of frozen yogurt they had she answered "the same we had yesterday...pause...and the day before that". now that was completely uncalled for.
umm, what else? i took a nap today and had a crazy dream...but that is completely normal for me. i spilled a whole cup of milk, but at least the glass didn't break! i also decided today that i am definitely okay with being okay from texas because i absolutely love barbeque...i could eat it every single day i think.
i bought a light bulb today for my globe...now my world lights up again! oh how i love puns...i secretly love it when professors make silly jokes like that :) i also really love it when my muscles are tired...it means i fought a good fight today.

wow...blogging is fun

i have been procrastinating a simple assignment for more than eight hours now. i spent a little time foxtroting and working on work for other classes...then i came home and watched an old episode of america's next top model on mtv...then i looked at a bunch of pictures on facebook and cried while being a little nostalgic. when i thought that all was lost and i would have to start the paper on christian transcendence in an immanent frame, i decided to make a blog while listening to indigo girls. great- just what i need...something else to become addicted to instead of my work! however i have approximately two and a half weeks and then i have absolutely no plans whatsoever...then i will have time to blog but might not have anything to blog about.
i figure that i am going to be completely honest on this blog...if you talk to me long enough my life is an open book anyway. so i wil just state a few things right from the start: one, yes i am terrified and excited to be a college graduate and have not one clue as to what to do and am oddly okay with that. two, i still miss and love nicholas terribly. three, i did buy a cheeseball this semester and ate the whole thing with ritz crackers- it was weird, but i am into trying new things right now. four, i reserve the right to be completely irrational, bratty, and hypocritical as i am still in my "figuring things out" stage...but mostly i hope to be nice :) and five, i worry a whole lot but i really dont have that many concerns in the world as i am perfectly sure that everything is going to work out...eventually.
okay...i really need to at least get a head start on this as it is due in a little over twelve hours and i hope to sleep and shower between now and then as well.

enter if you dare

so simply put, i think a lot. i usually think the same about the same things over and over in various ways and i am fairly sure that my roommates are getting tired of it. thus, i have decided to join the technological age and creat a blog (since even my older sister amy has one now). i am not sure if i will remember to post or if i will become a blogger-maniac, but this is my attempt to put my thoughts out there...to see if anyone feels the same or help people get inside my head (which, according to some, can be difficult. i argue that it isn't getting in that is so hard but understanding it that may be the problem.)
also, a warning. i am not going to be nice or politically correct or whatever- i mean i might be, but this is my place to be whatever i want and so please be prepared...i am quite wild sometimes!