Part of my New Year's resolutions was to blog weekly...yes, weekly. I know that seems like a far cry from the once-every-few-months rate I have been going, but I have been looking back on this blog a lot lately and am feeling sad I don't keep it up. I look back and remember what Leo was doing when he was June's age...and feel sad that I really won't have much of a record of her. I figure even if I don't make it every week it will at least be a lot more than I have been doing! So here it goes...
As I was running this morning I was thinking about how I hope this lingering tiny cold thing I have will go away in time for my first post-June race next month. It is just a 5k so I am not worried about it as I have already run that far, but I wanted to try to work on my speed. This annoying little tickle in the back of my throat that makes me feel like I need to clear my throat all the time really bothers me when I run and I haven't been able to push it as much as I would like yet. Blah blah blah...on to the point...which is then my mind started to wander about all of the things over the years that I have worried about while running....
Will I be able to make it? Do I look dumb running? Am I wasting my time? Am I damaging my knees? I hope I don't slip and fall on the ice... I wonder if this baby will fall out? Can I make it the whole way? What lap am I on? What will I do when I have to run alone? Will I be able to keep up with them? I don't think I can push the stroller the whole way... I hope a car doesn't run me over... Is this doing any good?
The list continued for a mile or more and then I wondered if through all of those worries if there was ever a time I had wished I hadn't gone running. Sure there were plenty of times it was hard to get out the door, but once I got going - and finished especially - was there ever a time I regretting going? I could remember specific times I had spent worrying, but if I have ever felt sorry that I went I couldn't remember it. I am always happy that I have gone. I always feel better after I go. So let this be where it is carved in stone and a reminder to myself...just go! Nike was on to something because when I just do it then I feel better afterwards. I feel healthier and stronger, even if my body isn't looking like what I wish running a few miles would do to it!
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