Mom guilt

Does anyone else have a ton of it?  Sometimes it is so hard to love Leo during the day when he is whiney and yelling "no!" at me and throwing things at me and biting me...yes, sadly this has been regular behavior as of late.  Sigh.  So it makes for long days, especially when we don't see Nick for a few days...and I find myself counting down til bedtime when I get more than thirty seconds to do what I want/need.

(enjoying a mini ice cream sandwich tonight since he ate both a fruit and a vegetable for dinner, which has been quite a feat lately!)

And then when the day is done and it is all quiet on the Vernon front, I sneak into Leo's room and he is sleeping so sweetly...cuddled up with his "puppy" (blanket) and looking so adorable.  It is then that I realize how big he is- my baby is gone- and also how small he is- just a little boy trying to figure the world out.  Yes it is then that I feel majorly guilty for how I act in the day...because when you see him sleeping like that you know that he really can not be trying to be that much of a rat...it is just part of his learning process, ugly as it is.

So right now while he is asleep I just want to get him out of his crib and cuddle him, yet tomorrow I won't be able to wait until he is asleep again.  Oh how the grass is always greener...let me just say that I am not looking forward to the "terrible twos" if this is what "one" is like, but oh how I love him anyway!

We are surviving...but tired!

Um, yeah...we have been busy.  Join the ranks eh?  Seriously- this commuting thing is fine and we are definitely happy that we are doing it to spend more time with Nick, but we are tired and lots of things just aren't getting done.  And I thought the first few days of this internship were busy...ha!  There aren't as many things on my calendar though for the next few weeks so hopefully I can catch up a bit.

We have made 6 round trips to Houston and back in the last 5 weeks...staying between a few hours and a few days each time.  I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it seems to keep me in a constant whirlwind.  You know...try to make the trip while Leo is happy and not sleepy so he will actually nap or go to bed once we get there, then once we arrive we restock food and supplies, do a load or two of laundry, keep up with the dishes and the dust and the cat hair- not to mention all the while trying to entertain/contain Leo and get him to eat something other than a cracker.  (A whole other post folks...a whole other post.)  Then pack up all I can hold in one load, get in the car, start Baby Einstein, and repeat.  Add in speaking in church, sending out 2 papers for work, lots of playgroups, babysitting for friends and consequently getting a night out for ourselves, having our a/c broken and repaired, celebrating Mother's and Father's day, an obsession to watch all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights on Netflix as quick as possible, chauffeuring to and from the airport, a dead car battery (thank you Leo for leaving lots of switches on!), hosting people for dinner twice, and Leo cutting 3 new teeth with 3 more coming and I am exhausted for sure.  I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to be a nomad.

On the good side though, we have been able to see my sister Tara multiple times, let Leo enjoy some cousin time with Belle and Livi (and he LOVES Belle...we are talking about a full-on obsession), help my mom with seminary graduation, celebrate my birthday and my mom's birthday with family, go to the doctor without taking Leo, and even enjoy the temple once since we have babysitters aplenty!  I'm not trying to complain or even excuse myself from not updating this old blog...just sharing what we are doing this summer!

I'm really hoping to get some pictures up soon...I did in fact get a new camera for my birthday (thanks Nicholas!) however it is incompatible with the computer I use 99% of the time right now so I am working on that...it has always got to be something!

In other news, Nick and I are training for a half-marathon in October...Day 1 of training was today!  Hopefully I will be ready in 15 weeks and 5 days; I am in such worse shape than when we did our last one in 2009, however I am running most days each week so it isn't like I'm completely starting from scratch.  I am excited for the big goal- not sure how it will all work with Leo yet, but I will worry about that when the runs get longer...he is good to last 3-4 miles in the stroller (not to mention that is about as long as I can stand to push him too) so we are good for now.  Wish us luck! :)