Does anyone else have a ton of it? Sometimes it is so hard to love Leo during the day when he is whiney and yelling "no!" at me and throwing things at me and biting me...yes, sadly this has been regular behavior as of late. Sigh. So it makes for long days, especially when we don't see Nick for a few days...and I find myself counting down til bedtime when I get more than thirty seconds to do what I want/need.
And then when the day is done and it is all quiet on the Vernon front, I sneak into Leo's room and he is sleeping so sweetly...cuddled up with his "puppy" (blanket) and looking so adorable. It is then that I realize how big he is- my baby is gone- and also how small he is- just a little boy trying to figure the world out. Yes it is then that I feel majorly guilty for how I act in the day...because when you see him sleeping like that you know that he really can not be trying to be that much of a rat...it is just part of his learning process, ugly as it is.
So right now while he is asleep I just want to get him out of his crib and cuddle him, yet tomorrow I won't be able to wait until he is asleep again. Oh how the grass is always greener...let me just say that I am not looking forward to the "terrible twos" if this is what "one" is like, but oh how I love him anyway!
(enjoying a mini ice cream sandwich tonight since he ate both a fruit and a vegetable for dinner, which has been quite a feat lately!)
And then when the day is done and it is all quiet on the Vernon front, I sneak into Leo's room and he is sleeping so sweetly...cuddled up with his "puppy" (blanket) and looking so adorable. It is then that I realize how big he is- my baby is gone- and also how small he is- just a little boy trying to figure the world out. Yes it is then that I feel majorly guilty for how I act in the day...because when you see him sleeping like that you know that he really can not be trying to be that much of a rat...it is just part of his learning process, ugly as it is.
So right now while he is asleep I just want to get him out of his crib and cuddle him, yet tomorrow I won't be able to wait until he is asleep again. Oh how the grass is always greener...let me just say that I am not looking forward to the "terrible twos" if this is what "one" is like, but oh how I love him anyway!
4 comments:
I completely identify. I experience the exact same cycle. It is so hard to keep things in perspective in the midst of the daily challenges. Amazingly, our kiddos still love us through it all. Keep on keeping on -- you are a great mom!
Oh my goodness, I totally hear ya. Some days are complete and udder chaos at my house. But I too am grateful for the moments when I can say it's all worth it. I can't remember who said it, but an LDS general authority, I believe, said, "the joys of motherhood comes in moments." I'm glad Heavenly Father gives us those moments to cherish, even if it's while they are sleeping. And the really bad days do fade away.
Loni's right -- it was Elder Ballard who said that. I remember that talk because it stood out so much to me when he said it! This is the talk if you want to read it: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/daughters-of-god?lang=eng
You are definitely not alone! Some days I have to lock myself in my room to try and calm down before I lose it...even more than I already have. Cherish the sweet moments because they keep you going! And it's okay to wish for time by yourself because you work so hard and you deserve it:)
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