Mom guilt

Does anyone else have a ton of it?  Sometimes it is so hard to love Leo during the day when he is whiney and yelling "no!" at me and throwing things at me and biting me...yes, sadly this has been regular behavior as of late.  Sigh.  So it makes for long days, especially when we don't see Nick for a few days...and I find myself counting down til bedtime when I get more than thirty seconds to do what I want/need.

(enjoying a mini ice cream sandwich tonight since he ate both a fruit and a vegetable for dinner, which has been quite a feat lately!)

And then when the day is done and it is all quiet on the Vernon front, I sneak into Leo's room and he is sleeping so sweetly...cuddled up with his "puppy" (blanket) and looking so adorable.  It is then that I realize how big he is- my baby is gone- and also how small he is- just a little boy trying to figure the world out.  Yes it is then that I feel majorly guilty for how I act in the day...because when you see him sleeping like that you know that he really can not be trying to be that much of a rat...it is just part of his learning process, ugly as it is.

So right now while he is asleep I just want to get him out of his crib and cuddle him, yet tomorrow I won't be able to wait until he is asleep again.  Oh how the grass is always greener...let me just say that I am not looking forward to the "terrible twos" if this is what "one" is like, but oh how I love him anyway!

We are surviving...but tired!

Um, yeah...we have been busy.  Join the ranks eh?  Seriously- this commuting thing is fine and we are definitely happy that we are doing it to spend more time with Nick, but we are tired and lots of things just aren't getting done.  And I thought the first few days of this internship were busy...ha!  There aren't as many things on my calendar though for the next few weeks so hopefully I can catch up a bit.

We have made 6 round trips to Houston and back in the last 5 weeks...staying between a few hours and a few days each time.  I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it seems to keep me in a constant whirlwind.  You know...try to make the trip while Leo is happy and not sleepy so he will actually nap or go to bed once we get there, then once we arrive we restock food and supplies, do a load or two of laundry, keep up with the dishes and the dust and the cat hair- not to mention all the while trying to entertain/contain Leo and get him to eat something other than a cracker.  (A whole other post folks...a whole other post.)  Then pack up all I can hold in one load, get in the car, start Baby Einstein, and repeat.  Add in speaking in church, sending out 2 papers for work, lots of playgroups, babysitting for friends and consequently getting a night out for ourselves, having our a/c broken and repaired, celebrating Mother's and Father's day, an obsession to watch all 5 seasons of Friday Night Lights on Netflix as quick as possible, chauffeuring to and from the airport, a dead car battery (thank you Leo for leaving lots of switches on!), hosting people for dinner twice, and Leo cutting 3 new teeth with 3 more coming and I am exhausted for sure.  I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to be a nomad.

On the good side though, we have been able to see my sister Tara multiple times, let Leo enjoy some cousin time with Belle and Livi (and he LOVES Belle...we are talking about a full-on obsession), help my mom with seminary graduation, celebrate my birthday and my mom's birthday with family, go to the doctor without taking Leo, and even enjoy the temple once since we have babysitters aplenty!  I'm not trying to complain or even excuse myself from not updating this old blog...just sharing what we are doing this summer!

I'm really hoping to get some pictures up soon...I did in fact get a new camera for my birthday (thanks Nicholas!) however it is incompatible with the computer I use 99% of the time right now so I am working on that...it has always got to be something!

In other news, Nick and I are training for a half-marathon in October...Day 1 of training was today!  Hopefully I will be ready in 15 weeks and 5 days; I am in such worse shape than when we did our last one in 2009, however I am running most days each week so it isn't like I'm completely starting from scratch.  I am excited for the big goal- not sure how it will all work with Leo yet, but I will worry about that when the runs get longer...he is good to last 3-4 miles in the stroller (not to mention that is about as long as I can stand to push him too) so we are good for now.  Wish us luck! :)

Crazy Week

This has been a busy week...and it isn't over yet!  While I have a free minute (finally!) let us recap:

Sunday - Mother's Day...Nick speaks in church, teaches Sunday School, gets set apart as Ward Mission Leader while I wrangle Leo and sub in primary.  We try to celebrate the holiday while we pack and get things together for...

Monday - Nick leaves before 6am to drive to his first day of the internship with ExxonMobil in Houston.  Leo and I follow with a car load of stuff a couple hours later and try to make the upstairs of my parents' house our home away from home for the summer- go grocery shopping, fill up a shelf in the pantry of Leo and Nick approved items, stock the bathroom, assemble a crib we are borrowing for the summer, etc.  Our plan is that Nick will stay there most weekdays and come home for the weekend while Leo and I will be bouncing back and forth every few days to feed Koshka, do work, etc.  I think the plan sounded better a few weeks ago...now I see that I pretty much am never going to be able to keep 2 households like I want!  There is always laundry and cleaning and grocery shopping waiting for me somewhere!

Tuesday - I join my mom's running group...good news is that they were slow enough for me to make it the whole 5 miles...bad news is that they go at 5:15am.  Leo actually takes a nap in his new crib, which he did not the day before, and then we head to celebrate my mom's birthday with her friends at Gringos.  I was disappointed with what I ordered- far too cheesy- and Leo only had french fries, but it was fun.

Wednesday - Work is piling up in my inbox so after Leo's nap we turn on Baby Einstein and drive the hour back home.  Koshka is thrilled to see us, even letting me pet her without biting me!  Woohoo!  Leo's newest cousin Clara is born and we ooh and ahh over pictures while he points to the computer and says "buh-bee" all day!  So cute!  I try to focus on letting Leo play for a few hours before bed, walking over to the park even though it is too hot already, so I don't feel guilty ignoring him completely once I get him in bed.  Start working as soon as he is asleep and don't look up from my computer until after midnight.

Thursday - Leo is up before 6am for some reason so I get an early start on work.  I hit it hard for a few hours while Leo has breakfast, watches far too many cartoons, and plays with all his cars and am done by 9am.  Manage a quick shower and play with Leo until nap time, then we both nap.  After lunch we hit the park again (this time we go to one that has more shade and take advantage of Sonic happy hour on the way) and one of our friends meets us there for a bit.  I manage to get our evening routine done early with a few minutes to spare before Nick makes an appearance- he had a missionary meeting tonight so he drove all the way home.  The boys play for about 20 minutes before Nick is off and Leo and I start the bedtime routine.  Once he is in bed I contemplate just going to bed myself, however instead opt for a bath and half of a pedicure (I got my toes all ready but then remembered we just ran out of nail polish remover!  At least the hard work is done and I just have to remove and repaint now.)  Nick still wasn't home so I thought I'd blog...someday we are going to want to remember this time right?

Tomorrow morning Nick will make the long drive in to Houston and Leo and I will follow a few hours later again...usually we would stay at home for the weekend but my mom's birthday is on Saturday, seminary graduation that she wants my help with is on Sunday, and my sister Tara is flying over Friday-Monday.  We will be busy busy, but I guess that keeps us out of trouble! :)

P.S.  My birthday is only a few weeks away and I have asked for a camera (that is a whole other post...someday) so get yourselves excited for hopefully more photos!  I know this blog is lame without them but it just isn't worth it right now to go through so much work to get crappy photos up all the time.  

Leo - 15 months

Leo is growing up.  I swear that not a day goes by that someone doesn't stop me and tell me how much of a boy he is, instead of a baby that is.  I agree...much to my dismay my little baby boy has grown up into a very cute and curious little kid.

When we went in for his 15 month well-check two weeks ago, we found out that he had grown 2 inches in the last 3 months!  No wonder his shirts were looking short recently!  That makes him 32 inches tall now.  We also discovered that our boy had indeed slowed down his weight gain, just as we had expected, since he is literally running everywhere now...he is currently 25 lbs 12 oz.  (That is a few ounces more than his 12 month well-check, but a few less when he went in for an ear-infection a month or so ago.)  He does look very tall and skinny to me now, but I guess it is all just relative.

Leo's new tricks include many animal sounds- we are proficient with moo, quack quack, baaa, bawk bawk, neigh (said very high), bit (short for ribbet), ssssss (for a snake), meow meow, ruff ruff, ahh ahh (said in a high voice and short for ooh ooh, ahh ahh like a monkey) and can sometimes get a roar for a lion or bear.

He can show us how old he is by putting up one finger and can jump on command.  He claps, waves, folds his arms, combs his hair, and knows where his ears are.  He can open his mouth and say "ahhh" as we often ask him to do so we can check his teeth or if his food is all gone.  He is learning how to blow a kiss.

He tries to put on his shoes, which means he wants to go outside.  He tries (and sometimes succeeds) to open the dvds, which naturally means he wants to watch Baby Einstein.  He can identify and say truck, car, bus, book, bath, Elmo, ball, drink, bubble, cracker, cookie, hot, cook, and all of the animals that he makes sounds for.  It is so fun to hear him meow and realize our cat has just walked into the room or hear him moo and then see a cow on a billboard or something- it is like he really gets it!

He can blow, which he tries to do with bubbles but it doesn't work yet.  His blowing skills do come in handy with hot food though and he usually blows by the stove since I am always telling him it is hot.  He could drive cars around all day long- that is seriously not an exaggeration!  And he is getting really good and walking on his tiptoes!

He loves the swings at the park and any wheel he can get his hands on.  He has learned to go down the slide by himself and is starting to be a bit of a climber...on the arm of the couch to reach the light switch, etc.

Leo loves the bath and usually climbs in when I am too busy to notice to play even without the water (usually while I am vacuuming).  He loves Koshka and takes his "chore" very seriously to remind us to feed her.  He meows to her all the time and pushes her when she sits in the rocking chair.

Leo is addicted to reading, there could be far worse things right?, and we read the same books all day long.  He brings book after book to you and wants to sit on your lap and turn the page.  He is getting quite good at following directions and little rhymes with actions.

We've had a hard time with feeding Leo lately...he was great, then not, then great again, and has recently been more picky.  I am telling myself that it is teething and a phase and that it will pass soon enough.  He still only has 6 teeth!  I did just see a bottom molar pop out (one corner of it at least) so I am hoping that helps him to feel a bit better.  We have all had a cold for the last week or more and he is finally napping without me holding him and being less whiney in the day...and he sleeps like a champ at night :)

Leo loves his dad; they have so much fun together.  He loves when Dad will follow him around with his cars and often asks for him and looks for his during the day.  He gets so excited once I tell him we are going to find him or he is coming home...and the look on his face when he finds Nick is priceless.  They love to throw balls, "fly", read, chase each other, and more.  Pretty much anything is better with Dad around!

We love our big boy and wish he would stay this age forever!  He is too fun right now :)

You want an update?  We are still sick and I am still eating Special K.  And yes, Nick caught the sickness just in time for his finals this week...woohoo.  All I can say is that this week HAS to be better than last week; it just has to!!!

We are under the weather here.  Nuts.  I was hopeful it was a new tooth or six making a debut (he has got to get them soon right?  He only has 6 still!) however when I got the cough and sore throat, etc. I figured that we both have the same thing.  At least Nick hasn't caught it...yet.  I'm sure he is waiting for finals next week :)

In other news, I'm on day one of the Special K challenge...it can't hurt, right?  Lots of the baby weight came off without much effort...then with just a few pounds to go the scale started going the other way and hasn't looked back since no matter how much I exercise or skip treats or what.  Guess it is time to do something drastic, although I hate that because it is terribly inconvenient to change.  Oh well...gotta do something different to get something different!  So I'm doing this little challenge for two weeks to break up with food and then we'll go from there.  We have been trying harder lately to eat well and I was proud of myself that at least half of my grocery cart today was produce...oh how I wish I could garden!  Someday I am going to have a big garden :)  But for now I can at least buy a lot of produce!  (p.s. Bought the first watermelon of the season today!  Yum!  I think I have already eaten like 1/4 of the monstrous thing!)

White Sandals Anyone???

Is anyone in desperate need of a pair of white espadrilles? Women's size 8?

I bought #6 above in white last year...I talked myself into them thinking I should be more practical (i.e. lower heels) about my espadrilles since I was toting a baby everywhere last summer. You know what happened? I can count on one hand how many times I wore them. There is nothing wrong with them...they just weren't "me" and I didn't feel great in them. Bahumbug.

I hate to part with them since they are still so new, however I realistically am never going to wear them- I didn't last year when they were my only pair and this year I have already bought a new pair that is much more "me"...yes, they have higher heels. :) So it would really help me out if someone I knew really needed them...then I would definitely not feel so bad about cleaning them out of my closet!

Any takers???